If you don't let someone in close enough to do that shit, you live a very fucking lonely life

Go check out some Santa Rampage video. If you look closely, you can see me, but I doubt you'll recognize me.

I finished all my patient care by noon today. I was free! Well, I had to print out a copy of my thesis for Dr. Botto. (Domo arigato, Dr. Ron Botto) And of course, while doing so, I spent 20 minutes cleaning up syntax that happened to cross my sight. I also read an article by George Monbiot about exactly how fascist this country is becoming.

Anyway, by the time I finished screwing around and ran that up to Botto's office for his perusal and dropped it in his box, and finally got out of there, it was a quarter past two, and I'd had no lunch. I snagged some fried chicken and then rode eight miles around town buying Christmas gifts. Some people I just have no idea what to get and know my parents will cover it with a gift from all of us; at least while I'm still in school I can get away with that...once I start making money I really should be able to buy a little something for everyone that deserves it.

I spent probably an hour in Myopic again and bought a bunch of books, half of them for me. I really need to stop this habit, since I don't have time to read them and my bookshelf is filling up with books for me to read. I'm looking forward so to reading them, but what the fuck? At least now I have no excuse to go in there for a few months, yet.

After coming home and reading a bit and doing some audio shit on my computer, I headed out to the Mercury Cafe a few blocks from here. A real laid-back, mostly empty coffe shop that has about 7 shitloads of floor space. There were actually a fair number of people in there, but the place is so huge it feels empty. They've got art on the walls, and the people at the counter are real friendly, and they have vegan food too for those of you who are dietarily impaired. I sat and read a bit while eating, then just sat and starting compiling a list of music to play at Delilah's next week while listening to the MP3 player for inspiration.

My friend Marissa in Montreal wrote me a card which I got today. I haven't heard from her in six months, so that put a big smile on my face.

I had an IM conversation with Laura that I'm going to post part of. Screen names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Laura: if you've never gotten a letter like that from someone you were really close to, then take my word for it when I tell you that it really fucking hurts
Darren: yeah, I bet
Darren: Marta told me I was an "obligation"
Laura: when she broke up with you, or before then?
Laura: that's pretty dick
Darren: the night of
Darren: of course, she denied it five minutes later
Darren: a few weeks before that she told me I felt like a burden
Darren: I felt like I'd been punched in the chest
Laura: ouch, yeah
Darren: especially since that's how I'd felt my parents had perceived me for a long time
Laura: rahul told me I was "heartless," and incapable of giving a shit about anyone other than myself unless it was to get angry at them
Darren: Rasshole
Laura: I thought he was right for a long time
Darren: suckage
Laura: i consider myself a fairly self-confident person, but it is amazing what people can do to you anyway
Darren: no fucking shit, man
Darren: of course, if you don't let someone in close enough to do that shit, you live a very fucking lonely life