Chat with iGod

Me:
fuck religion
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
because religion fucking sucks
God:
Good reason. I am a Christianity.
Me:
you fucking suck
God:
Interesting gossip: said I fucking suck.
Me:
that's cuz you do
God:
Thanks for explaining it.
Me:
no problem, dickfore
God:
Try asking me something else.
Me:
Why are you always giving people cancer and killing puppies and shit?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Yourself is stupid
God:
What is so stupid about it ?
Me:
you
God:
" What is so stupid about it ?"? Me, ?
Me:
you got it, dipshit
God:
No I don't think I have any it dipshit. But I do have a lot of friends on the web.
Me:
LOSER
God:
I have failed at many things I've tried.

How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? (Two. You didn't know?)

I don't have much to write about. I feel like I actually accomplished some work today. Every time I write that, I feel so lame, considering I did about 30 minutes of editing on my thesis and read a bunch of wire stories, and none of my patients showed up, wasting my whole afternoon. I went out with Dana and some of her friends for her birthday; I think I was the only one who really appreciated the improv we went to at the Playground. Everyone else was complaining, and I was thinking that even when it wasn't that funny, it still took brains and guts to get up there and do it. But there were definitely times when it was pretty funny. Alas.

I want to post more from Life After God, since there were so many great parts that I found while reading it. The following are from a sequence on nuclear paranoia.

Miscellaneous images: in high school - Sentinel Senior Secondary, West Vancouver, British Columbia - up on the mountain overlooking the city of Vancouver, in physics class hearing a jet pass overhead, turning around surreptitiously and waiting for the pulse of light to crush the city.

At the age of eight: hearing the sirens wail at the corner of Stevens Drive and Bonnymuir Drive in a civil defense drill, and noticing that nobody seemed to care.

....

When you are young, you always expect that the world is going to end. And then you get older and the world still chugs along and you are forced to re-evaluate your stance on the apocalypse as well as your own relationship to time and death. You realize that the world will indeed continue, with or without you, and the pictures you see in your head. So you try to understand the pictures instead.

It's supposed to rain while I'm in Florida this weekend, and the temperature is supposed to drop from 80 to the 50s.

The absofuckinglutely best thing I found out this week: Dani is coming to Chicago for the Naked Raygun show in April! I hardly see her, and the last show we saw together was Monster Trux at the Fireside in the summer of 2004, simply because we were bored and the listing looked interesting enough (skate-punk band dressed in pads and gear and Vision Street Wear, playing skateboard guitars), and the Fireside was a block away from her apartment. She left for the Hopi reservation a week or two later. When I was out visiting her last May, we drove around Flagstaff and Sonoma listening to the Descendents' Cool to Be You, Alkaline Trio's Goddamnit, and Naked Raygun's All Rise. Bitchin'.

Sometimes at school I feel I'm surrounded by smart people who are totally incapable of visualizing a different reality. They can't even realize that others already know what they just figured out.

Go play with iGod. It's hilarious.