Saturday, October 21, 2006

Hesitation used to be the station that I'd get on at. Now it's Asshole, can you envision that?

It's been a few days since I wrote anything, and what a busy week it's been. Right now seems like a good time to resume my procrastination. I'm really supposed to be writing the lit review for my thesis, but can't quite find the willpower to sit down and review the stack of research papers sitting before me.

The prevailing theme in my life this week is exhaustion. I started out exhausted from my trip to Shit City last weekend, and it just got worse. Last night was the first time I really slept until my body awoke on its own. Ten-and-a-half hours. Not that I'm not still tired...I may take a nap later to further my procrastination and restfulness.

Thinking back on this week, though, I'm kind of amazed I made it through in as good a shape as I did. Monday and Tuesday, I was a walking wreck, napping pretty much anywhere I had a chance to put my head down. I got the bare amount of work done that I needed to...

Wednesday, after dinner with our new applicants, I went to a late Deal's Gone Bad show at Cobra Lounge. The $3 12oz. Guinness was a nice refresher from Vegas's shitty beers and even shittier overpricing, so I took a bit of advantage of that, especially since it was a free show. DGB played a two sets, and I was able to run into a few people I've made acquaintance with. Oh, and I was able to dance, too...So while going to a show that let out at 1:30am may not have been the best idea, or anywhere close to smart, it was worth it.

Thursday was another long day...I barely had time to eat lunch even, from all the work I was doing. Then I hauled ass from school to my house for a quick change to shorts and then up to the Metro for the Falcon show. Which rocked. The Copyrights were one of the openers, and while they played a good set, they stuck mostly to stuff from their new record, which I still don't have. The Falcon tore it up pretty well, playing I think every song they've written. In between sets, I got rousted by Metro security for falling asleep while sitting on a bench, and then for even sitting on the floor. God damn. "Who the fuck is Renee Zellwegger?"

By Friday morning, my right ankle - the one I sprained so badly two years ago - was starting to feel pretty sore. By Friday evening, I was again in shorts and out at the Metro for the Bouncing Souls show. World/Inferno opened, and their set wasn't as good as the last time I saw them in early 2005. Part of it may have been the stage height, or the crowd, or the fact that they played primarily songs off their new album which isn't particulary my favorite. None of the really uptempo songs of theirs that I like. Whole Wheat Bread just annoys me, and I spent their set reading a pretty depressing epidemiological study of post-invasion mortality rates in Iraq. Street Dogs put on a pretty good set, though; there's at least one scab on my arm where it ran into some kid's teeth. The Bouncing Souls gave a pretty damn good showing, and after all the teenage boys had worn themselves out slamming into each other, the singing and dancing was pretty sweet too. After show I stopped at the rock'n'roll DQ for a Blizzard. So I went to bed in a pretty good mood, and slept the sleep of the dead.

Earlier this week I met a girl who, from her body language and the way she would touch my arm and hugged me goodbye, seemed to be pretty into me. Granted, she was teeth-benumbingly drunk at the time. In the moment and in my exhaustion, I was pretty into her too, or at least into the idea of a girl who was into me. I would have done just about anything in that situation, and I'm glad the opportunities for anything serious didn't really present themselves. That's because as soon as I started heading home, I realized that I wasn't really that attracted to her at all. Thinking more on it the next day, I realized it's because I didn't feel challenged at all. Not in the sense of attaining affection, but in the sense of being inspired. The simple fact is that the gut feeling wasn't there.

Of course, I'd told her I'd call her, and I would probably enjoy having her as a friend, but I feel like I'd be an asshole for stringing her along, however unintentionally. The question is whether I'd be a bigger asshole for never calling...