...And I want to share this round-eyed devil with you.

I was thinking earlier that I usually post something angry or bitter-sounding. (I think Kate complained about that one day a while ago.) Is it because that's what incites me emotionally to get writing, or is that just my dominant emotional state? Is there a difference? If there were more happy events in my life, would it just inspire me to think about happy things, or would I just be happier? I'm going to see if I can go the rest of the night without getting pissed off at anything, and see how that feels. My home is my castle and all that.

I was looking at the Metro schedule this evening, and there are several cool shows that I'm going to find myself going to:

• Oct 20: Bouncing Souls, Street Brats, World/Inferno Friendship Society
• Nov 3: Lucero
• Nov 11: Lawrence Arms
• Nov 17: Heavens

I'm looking forward to a bike ride up there this Saturday to get tickets. At least three of those shows will involve a lot of singing and dancing, so that's really something to look forward to.

I wonder if my eclecticism further marginalizes me. I have close friends, but I was taken to wondering the other day if I will really meet someone who not only is a good match for me but also cares enough to put up with enough of my shit to stay with me. In other words, am I too weird for someone to go crazy for me? The reason it came to mind is that I was thinking of that feeling you get when you have that emotional connection - the one where I'm apeshit until I can see her again, and she's batshit for me. I haven't felt that in a long time. I've felt it maybe developing in one or maybe two situations, but I was probably too chicken-shit to put it on the line, and I just played it safe. But I have to think hard and concentrate to remember that feeling.

Tonya and John and I were talking at lunch yesterday about how there comes a time when you realize that your current relationship may be on the marriage track. Well, those are my words for it. Tonya was talking about how she realized it wasn't weird anymore that someday she might marry her boyfriend.

I'm also pretty happy with my new MP3 player. Hooray! (For some reason, Sara Nelson's voice just popped into my head for that exclamation.) I'm getting burnt out on writing music reviews, so maybe I'll start on some of the ideas for pieces I've got. Tomorrow, though, I'm going to try and get into the Jackass Number Two screening.

I'm listening to Mike Park's North Hangook Falling over and over tonight, and it's a fanfuckingtastic record. It makes me want to cry, smile, and dance all at the same time.

If you don't want to hear something disgusting, stop reading NOW....

....I hacked up four stinky tonsil-balls tonight. Yuck. Now I'm gonna go pinch one off.