This sick boy feels like Stickboy.

I have a cold. Worse, I have a summer cold. Worse yet, it comes on *the* hottest day of summer. We're talking record-setting hot. My head feels like it's way big and wobbling around. It could be worse, though. At least I'm not totally stuffed up all the time, my throat isn't sore, except for when it's real dehydrated in the morning, and I'm not totally dead on my feet.

I'm looking forward to the weather cooling off. Tomorrow. I'm looking forward to dinner with Kate. Tonight. I'm looking forward to meeting Liv again before she moves. Tomorrow. I'm looking forward to seeing and dancing to the Dirty Calypsonians. Thursday. I'm looking forward to the drive to GORP. Friday. I'm looking forward to sleeeeeeeping. Who knows when. I'm looking forward to the new mp3 player coming. Order still processing.

Trish told me this morning that Ned broke up with her again. My heart goes out to that girl, because sometimes she seems to have a real hard time of it, and deep inside I think she's got some self-esteem issues. I don't think they're justified, but they're there regardless. So I just want to make sure she's not feeling completely alone and rejected, although I don't know how much it will help.

I'm back to procrastinating. Maybe it's the heat, but all weekend I didn't get shit done. Maybe a treatment plan. But really, not much. Mostly I finished reading the Honor Harrington novels (or most of them) for the third or fourth time. Nerdtastic. Now I can confront the mess my life has become. Literally. Shit is falling apart, and I've been neglecting my moral and emotional growth as well as my ADLs and professional work. Now that the gigantic block of escapism I embarked upon when John died has been conquered, maybe I can get this shit to the point where I feel it's under control.

Step 1: call the patients I need to call. Just fucking do it. Step 2: treatment plan my remaining cases. Well, that's pretty much done, but get it nailed down. Step 3: start my lit review and keep working on it. Step 4: get apartment clean - yeah, I know...Step 5: sleep.

Obviously, some of these are going to get done out of order, but still.

My whole not drinking at home alone thing is going well. I don't even miss it, although I did at first. I still want to eat like mad, though. It's an escape mechanism, to feel full somehow. I think I'm just gaining a bare understanding - a glimpse - into compulsive behavior. It's weird, how I see this path I can very easily start down, and how comforting it would be, but also dark.

Speaking of dark paths, I need a nap. And I need to remember to take my ibuprofen.