John's funeral was Friday. Sad as hell. Just the same, it didn't hit me until after I got back to Chicago. Friday and Saturday I was detached, viewing things clinically and more worried about my family. My aunt kept saying she was going to be alone until she dies. Yesterday felt like shit. I couldn't concentrate, I just wanted to eat, sleep, and be lazy. It took me a good 6 hours to do 2 hours of work, and I kept having to take naps. What the fuck? To top it off, I went to the Note to see the Copyrights play, and they weren't there. The other three bands were, though, although they weren't that great.
Saturday night I was at least back in town soon enough to go the Monkey/Deal's Gone Bad show, and that was very welcome. My back is still all sore from dancing. Met up with Ryan too, which was cool, and Chuck Wren hooked me up with 10-12 CDs for $35.
I started selectively rereading the Honor Harrington novels last week. I started actually a few hours before I found out about John's death, but now I feel more justified in spending the time. My apartment is shit right now, but I really don't give a fuck about it. Once I get my paper and lit review done I might. I don't know right now.
Same deal with girls at the moment. I don't need the distraction. I'm trying to eat and drink less. I'm feeling a bit hyperbeerhotic, and I know I've become a little too quick to reach for the drink. I found out Thursday that while you can buy alcohol on airplanes, you can't drink your own.
Right now I just want to eat, sleep, and waste my time. I've pretty much given up trying to get together with friends since it's not worth the letdown when they're busy. I'd rather be alone than deal with that. Shana did tell me to call if I needed to get out, though.
No comments:
Post a Comment